You’re sweet x
Good evening stranger! It’s been almost 4 months since I last posted on my Tumblr, so thank you to all of the followers that have stayed with me. It has been an incredibly busy time in my life, finally moving out of my parents house and settling into my lovely new home with my baby. 2013 was an eventful, life changing year, but I plan on taking this year into my own hands and finally setting myself some goals.
(1) Lose 14lbs sensibly- I am the worlds worst crash dieter. I have no doubt that if I get into ‘the zone’ I can reach my goal weight in the next few weeks. However, I have never managed to maintain it for longer than a few weeks. I never learn any life or health lessons during my dieting, it’s usually 4 weeks of green tea and depriving myself in preparation for a party or event, then once I return back to normal eating habits I pile it back on again. My health and weight loss goal this year is to change my outlook for the long term, eat healthy and get into the routine of keeping this up, I have so much in my life to motivate me right now that it feels like the right time to take on the challenge of changing a decade of bad habits.
(2) Quality family time- Last year I moved out of my parents house and in with my boyfriend. Surprisingly, since then, I seem to have spent more time with my family than ever before and developed a much better relationship with all of them. However, I do feel like I’ve been very selfish with my time, I have noticed I only make the very short trip over when I need something: milk, my washing doing, advice, it all seems very self centered. I can’t remember the last time I took my little sister out for the day, just because, or came over to watch TV with my mum and give her foot rubs. I have really learned how much I love and appreciate my family, and want to make sure that this year I begin really dedicating time to creating memories with them, and spending quality time.
(3) Stop biting my nails- Every year I say this! Every bloody year! For a short period last year I had the most beautiful, long, healthy nails you could ask for. The thing is, I have no idea how I did it, I think for a few weeks I must have just forgotten I am a compulsive nail biter. Is that possible? I don’t even realise I’m doing it half the time. The thing that gets to me the most is that recently I’ve began noticing that when I’m out, I really notice people’s hands and feet. If someone has on a nice, clean pair of shoes and well groomed hands, regardless of whatever fashion crime they are committing in between, they just look presentable and smart. I have an awesome collection of shoes, but until I get my nail biting in check, they are futile. Just stop biting your fucking nails bitch!
(4) Be brave- I am a push over. Yes, really. In my relationship, I am fierce, I take no time in telling my boyfriend when I am unhappy with something and being a nightmare until the problem is solved (he does love me though, honest). But when it comes to the real world, outside the comfort of home and going up against someone you know loves you and won’t judge you, I sometimes find I have no voice, no confidence. I let people talk to me like absolute shit, I let them put upon me and treat me unfairly, sometimes I purposely avoid situations of confrontation because I know I just won’t be able to voice myself and decide I may as well just roll over to begin with instead of stand up and fight. A few weeks ago, feeling inspired having watched The Hobbit the night before and seen Bilbo take on his big adventure, I decided to tackle the day with no fear. I woke up and manually filled myself full of confidence, I wore my favorite Wednesday Addams work dress and did my makeup, I went to work and did my job with the utmost confidence in my abilities, I stood up to customers and colleagues that took the piss, I sent emails to my boss with ideas I’d been sitting on for weeks but had been too nervous to voice, I even took the way home over the motorway that I usually avoid (baller). I got home and waited on the return of my gorgeous boyfriend, and when he arrived I gave him a huge kiss and held him tight, unusually confident and assured that he was just as happy to see me.
The next day I woke up, and I was Hannah again. This year, I will live the adventure every day. I will not be afraid to be me and let people hear what I have to say, I will do things that scare me.
(5) Study hard- I started my English degree September 2012. This year I had a serious crisis and decided not to return to University. I had no alternative options in mind, all I knew is I was struggling with my course, and when the going gets tough, I usually just run and hide, so I did. I want to be an English teacher. I was so inspired by the teacher I had for my A Level course that I want nothing more than to follow in her footsteps. I will not become a teacher if I don’t complete my degree. It’s as simple as that. I have had much an easy ride through school and college, I have never revised a day in my life and have always coasted through exams. Finally, university presents a challenge that I claim to have been longing for and the second things get tough I quit. This year I’m going back to Uni and I am finishing my degree. I will be dedicated and driven and work to the best of my abilities. I saw a lot of my friends graduate this year, and will see many more next, this is positive peer pressure.